jed is the best amigo ever..

I haven't written a blog in a while.. well, nothing has happened since I last wrote.. So lets see if I can find anything interesting! Oh I still miss Kyle, like crazy! :( Uh.. me and jed are amigos til the end.. I made a new nick name for Ryan Dalisay.. it's.. PATSO! Good stuff.. I had a chill day with a few dreamers and Cheryl, we had a pizza night! haha uh.. oh right.. I haven't written in this blog since Kyle left, which means before Christmas!! Well, Christmas was okay, I didn't spend it with my family, but I spent it with some dream'ers at Bonus' house.. We watched Wanted, pretty sick movie. Better than matrix, lets just say.. I learnt how to bend a bullet, and you're probably thinking "Wtf?.. bend a bullet?" You gotta watch the movie man! And on boxing day I did some mad shopping with Ash, Drew and Joe! Holy crap so early in the effing morning too! We finished shopping at 12.. and we started at 8am! haha Went to Joe's house and took a nap. Me Joe and Drew separated, they went to the movies and I went to a family party. Omg, How I missed my cousin Takone so much, I was glad I went to the party because he just came from France and I haven't seen him since the year 2000! SI! 8 years man! Hella crazy, but I loved it. uhh.. I don't know what else to say except.. Mina sucks! :P just kidding.

- meals.

p.s.. PATSO.. PATSO PATSO.. old man music. holla.

I meeeeeees KYLE! =)

COME BACK SOON.. I MISS YOU <33

KMJK WEEK!

So, this week has been quite awesome.. Getting Kyle from the airport... eating at dimsum.. getting a weird allergic reaction from the food.. ABDC performance.. met Slim.. talked to Megan.. saw some old friends.. PERFORMED.. and did.. GREAT!... ate at wings.. sang happy birthday to JENNGALO.. took Kyle, Mari and Keone's class... then.. Christmas bash.. got smashed... let me buy you a drink.. K.O'd at Joe's... took Kyle's class... hard ass partners peice... lesbian couples... snowball fight.. i rocked Kyle... he got owned.. so did Simonne.. and Gerwyn.. and MINA... drove home to Mina's... at 30Km/h.. thats how we do.. then later tonight.. SNOWBALL FIGHT AT 12 NIGGA... it's going down... <3 -meals

feelings I can't explain.

I miss you a lot.. You got me mad stuck.. What do I do?

Should I leave it? or Still go on?

You keep me wanting more.. Why?

what are these thoughts?

What am I feeling? .. just had to write it down.. get back at it another time..

p.s.. i miss you.. a lot.. ALREADY. :(

-meals

late night practices.

Have you EVER had one of those before? If you haven't.. man, you're not working hard enough! I'm quite proud of everyone here at the studio, they've all grown so much! Even the little kids can pick up choreo quick now, it's amazing how fast everyone is growing in their dance abilities. From company team to little kid's showcase, we all get the same training and strive the same passion.. which is DANCE. I love it. The most recent thing for me right now.. would be our performance next week at ABDC, pretty exciting.. first practice was GOOD, we got a lot done! I can't wait for the show!! EEEEK!

P.S I miss Moobs.. I mean Mark.. =( src will come here next time.. RIGHT MARK? hahah :P

- meals

lump of coal.

moobs isn't come anymore.. =( no more big bear hug.. next time I guess.. just gotta show what I can do, even if "it's" not there to see.


- meals

busy busy busy

Christmas is coming around the corner, ABDC is coming around the corner, some other stuff is coming around the corner.. and the DREAM xmas bash is around the corner too.. man, this is exciting. I'll be very busy for the next week or so.. and I don't know! Ha.. I gotta sell some Other Duck stuff, so if people are reading this and you wanna buy some duck stuff, get it.. NOW! I gotta go buy my secret santa people presents this week, blah... I'm SO lazy to go buy something.. I don't even know what to get them! EEK! Oh and i'm going broke, I need cash. I need a job.. thats the big highlight.. let me highlight that for you.. I need a job.. Note to self, succeed in getting a job that will help me pay for a lot of stuff.. LIKE DANCE and NEW TEE SHIRTS.. WHEEE!! Anyways, that's all for now. Happy Holidays!!.. how dumb was I? I was about to write "happy birthday".. effing idiot sometimes.

-meals

Holiday in handcuffs

It's been a while since I teared up over a movie, but this movie was mad cute. A little weird in the beginning, but once you got into the movie. You'd fall inlove with it. That was my Christmas movie... Man, it just makes me wish.. if only things like that happen.. Like if you were a little kid, you'd always want whatever that had happen in the movie, to happen to you. Well, that's impossible, but think again.. nothing is impossible.

Any other day

Today was pretty chill.. a pretty chill Monday. Wasn't too hectic.. maybe a little, but not as bad. Jenn's choreo today was hella sick, got a lot of grooving in it. Loved it.. The sad thing though is that she's leaving again for L.A BLAH!! And so is Brian... and Ashlie.. and Sheri!! Haha, dam.. everyone is just going! Well, anyways.. Been doing the usual.. dancing.. schoolng.. catching up with old friends... such as Mark!! Haha, meeeeeeesss you lots boobear!! Can't wait til you get your ass to Vancity.. It's gonna be dope dope dope dowwwp!! Hahaha.. That's my day so far.. Told you nothing too special.. Just another "Any other day" ...

So.. what do I say?

I'm so fucking out of words right now. Sorry for my bad language, but fuck. I'm so.. I don't even know how to explain how I feel right now. It's unbelievable.. What do I say? Do I say i'm mad? Do I say i'm disappointed? Do I say i'm frustrated? Do I say i'm hurt? Do I say i'm happy for you? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO FUCKING SAY! It's the first time I was put down by you, but it's ok. I understand. I'm happy with your decision, it is your life. I can't do anything, but standby and watch. Yeah, it hurt a bit to hear what was going on. But I can handle it. I just never thought it'd come by so soon. It was so out of the blue, so.. random. But thats not the REASON why i'm writing this.. HOW COULD YOU FORGET WHEN THE LAST TIME WE TALKED. hfabkasjbfsabfkadufgafgabfaklbfh BYE.

I got COLORS!

DREAM DANCE STUDIO!! HOLLAA!! :)

take a poo poo

Today today today.. was boring. Oh! I was limping the whole day.. I can't seem to put all my weight on my ankle, therefore I was crippled.. It was lame. I hope I can dance tomorrow, or i'll be quite upset. So, I went to school and I see that Raina is also crippled, but not like me.. She effed over her finger, it's blue purple and green. It was nasty. Well, anyways.. nothing really special. Uhm, Insadet got me starbucks =$ Tenks m'dear. Made my day. <3 K, thats all for now. BYE!

- meals

crippled meals.

So today was quite interesting.. I had a fun game of basketball.. WELL, it had a ball in it.. some rules like basketball, BUT didn't feel like it. I felt like I was in a war.. A girl on girl war. EFF man. Never seen so many girls get SO aggressive with a game. I kinda got scared.. and I'm not lying. This is how it went down.. *hence the title of this blog..* We were playing bball.. and all the girls were going crazy, some were down on the ground grabbing the bball.. some girls got scratched or cuts.. and me.. yeah I was just a bystander.. who ran back and forth, but NEVER said.. "PASS IT TO ME!" because I was scared to. Anyways, moving on.. I was near the girl who had the ball.. and everyone was surrounding her like CRAZY.. and I wanted to back out of the whole mob.. So I slowly ran backwards.. and tripped over someone's foot.. and ROLLED onto my ankle. Theres me.. down on the ground, I got up and I was fine. THEN I see across the room.. two girls fighting for the basketball.. BOTH on the ground.. grabbing the ball.. and wouldnt let go.. teacher blows the whistle a few times and tells them to let go, but they didn't.. And you're probably thinking.. "wtf? so what happened?" ... THEY just got down on the ground dragging each other everywhere on the floor, but still wouldn't let go of the ball.. it as funny to be exact. You just had to be there. Well, anyways.. I thought I was fine from the fall so.. I went to dance and once I got to dance.. I felt a bad pain in my ankle.. Yep, it was from the roll.. This is a disaster right? Yes it was! I couldn't dance!! The classes I had that day.. I couldn't do them! I was so sad.. I WAS CRIPPLED THE WHOLE TIME! I iced it and crap, But what upset me the most was I couldn't take Kolanie's class.. UGGGH! Well, that was my day. My ankle feels somewhat better... Oh and I saw my best friend today... JAYBEE. I missed her soo much. It was great to see her for a bit.. . AND I miss Hayden. K bye!

P.S. Texting Insadet is the best. <3

- meals on hot wheels or happy meals... whatever floats your boat.. let your boat sink.. NOW

Just an everyday thing.

Not what I expected.. Not what I intended, but dam.. It was like a shot in the heart. Days are starting to get worst and worst, wheres the better in it? I'm still in search of it. I feel like the days aren't getting much better than what they are now. I need to move... AGAIN. I miss my happy self.. I miss how happy I was with him. Asking myself.. "what am I really looking for?" yet I can never answer that question without feeling confused. All I really can do now is.. just sit back and relax. Let life take it's roll.. Not my turn yet.

I miss you.. like mad..

I miss you a lot.. I can't even say..


"nothing feels right when I'm not with you"

boobear,

I'm worried about you.. be safe. i miss you.


--mealsvancity--
righthalf.. ♥,

Down and about.. again?

Ugh, it's happening again.. why aren't I happy? maybe cause i've been cut down on dance.. maybe things are just so fucking lame. I can't even explain how bottled up I feel right now. I wish i could just scream it out.. I need someone to just run to so bad. It feels like I can't even do that anymore.. It feels like I can't just get up and do what I want to do. To be honest, I was so happy a few months ago.. Then all of a sudden a whole pile of emotions came my way. I feel like dying. WTF man.

TRRIICCCKK!

Oh boy, experienced soo many things this summer. L.A was the best experience ever!! I want to go back! I was so happy when i got picked in select in Tuckers, Rachel Kay, and Jr's class. I was so nervous, but it's alright! The house that we stayed at was HUGE... It felt like we've been living in that house for SO long.. haha I loved it! Omg, i'm gonna miss the car rides.. lol soo funny. "who has ger's car snack bag!?" hahaha... oh man. I've gotten so close with a lot of people this summer. which is great! the person i've been so attached to.. R.C hhahaha! One person i'm getting really close with is Migs.. haha "lemon juice and your tat! sound bad?" hahahah! good times. Dream'ers will be dream'ers we've been down to earth and just living life! We're not that best at it, but we're almost there! haha Summer intensive is still coming up i'm excited for that! yeeyee! :D hahah write more later! <3

SUMMER!

Shoot, I can't believe it! It's summer... damn it came by so fast.. now i'm excited because i got places to go, people to see.. this is gonna be one hell of a summer. I know i'll miss it, :(.. now i just don't want it to end.. AHH!

Just can't get up and leave.

Eff, I can't even think. I'm stressing my ass off.. and for what? I can't believe my parents even had the nerve to tell me LAST minute that we're moving.. They tell me i'm moving two days after my year end show with DREAM. Honestly, that was some messed up shit. I'm still shocked and choked. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Two days.. pack your shit and go. I just can't get up and leave.. I have so much that i'll be leaving behind. One thing.. Dance.. & Two my friends.. It's so hard to just say good bye. I try to understand what my parents are trying to say and the reason why they want to get up and leave, but still.. it just won't click. Many say it's not a good bye it's a see you later.

Think it over.

I don't know what to do, I'm kind of lost. My thoughts are quite messy. I feel as if I've put guilt on myself. Should I go for it? OR Should I back down? I can't choose because I want both. I didn't think things were going to be like this. Honestly, It's so hard to choose. One choice makes me SO happy. Well, starting to make me happy and the second choice.. It just leaves me down. Which do I choose? To be happy, and feel guilty or to be sad, and not feel guilty? Help me bf..

This ISH.

Shoot, i haven't blogged this ish in a while. Well, a few things have changed since the last time i wrote. So that's good. I got to meet kaba modern! They were pretty dope. Sick routines too! Can't wait for the year end show.. it's just around the corner. Can you believe it?? This is gonna be one hell of a show, if you don't come. YOU'RE MISSING OUT!!

Sigh

Just when you think you have everything in your hands, but once you go for that last grasp.. it's gone. All that you've worked for, all that you've done, just vanished in a dust. Yes, everything does come and go, but what if you don't want it to?

..

Why you crying meals? Can't you smile just once? Can't you stay happy?.. I hate dripping tears like this.. I hate having this feeling of weakness and pain. I'm not as strong as I used to be.. I'm just plain weak.

Shh.. Secret.

dt ♥,

New Month;

So, it's a new month and a somewhat new start? Quite excited for the year end show! Whoever is reading this, YOU better come. Just ask me about the tickets and remember it's DREAM =) Haha, well anyways.. I like writing notes to anonymous people. For one Monkey Boy.. haha he knows who he is, but no one else does. I think he's adorable.. =)

Good to be gone.

You're a fucking idiot.

A title with NO meaning;

You can't even call to say hi, it's like we're not even together. This isn't even a fight.. we just let our differences get to us and now look at us. We aren't what people think we are, not even. We let everything around us get in the way of our relationship and now this is how we ended up. Yeah, we got the title, but really? Behind it all, is nothing. It doesn't even feel like I even have you. It doesn't even feel like we're together as one. I feel like i'm on my own. Ugh. Whatever, just call me when you think things are gonna change.

Whistler!

Wow, what a Friday night. Whistler was so much fun. It was like a night to never forget. So many things had happened in just a few hours. I love it, and I miss it already. Need to go back next year. JOE =) hah picture crazy yea!!

Why?

You might not like this, but I have to say it. What happened to you? You used to be fun, outgoing, and actually went out with your friends. Now all you do is just stay at home, why? Can't you see that everyone misses you? You're practically erasing yourself from existance. Is that what you really wanted? Is this how you want to live your life? What happened to "i'm just living life the way it is" what happened to the "living" part. You're not living life. You're acting as if you're just a person who's on this planet. I hate seeing you like this. You're not even spending the last year of school. Once you're out, the memories of school is gone. Theres no turning back on the lost days or even years. I never wanted to say this, but I really want you back. I really want the old you. Go ahead, make your decision.. Just know i'm always here. Even though you're sometimes not. I miss you so much, it feels like i'm losing you, but to nothing.

Sore!

Oh my fricken goonachay!... I'm SO sore! Woo, I can't believe it but getting into shape.. YEE BABY! Here comes all the shows all the excitement.. YEAR END.. then LA.. then PNE.. wow... =D I love it. hahaha

One Girl;

I don't know how we got like this,

but i know that is serious,

choosing who to be with,

living being sleepless,

so can you help me, better yet tell me

one girl is my jump off one girl is my wife,

but i have fell inlove with both and i can't decide,

so tell me what to do, cause i don't know which one to choose

i just don't know

one girl is my jump off one girl is my wife,

but i have fell inlove with both and i can't decide,

so tell me what to do, cause i don't know which one to choose

i just don't know

Poetry.

Poetry, you're hiding behind the words you speak

Changing the words of the story

You say you don't love me then say that you love me

I'm fighting

You're hiding behind the words you're speaking

You're changing the words, I'm lost in the verse

You say you don't love me then say that you love me

Why are you hiding?

Everythings clear;

I guess most of the time I gave you attitude and whatnot.. was just me with the adrenaline of anger towards you. I didn't mean it as much as I thought. It's just what you said just shot me right in the heart, it was like you didn't believen me anymore. It felt so out of place and wrong. I'm sorry. <3

Piss me off.

Ugh, EVERY FRICKEN TIME. "WE'RE GONNA TAKE YOU OUT OF DANCE" how many fucking times do I have to hear that? Honestly, FUCK just do what you guys want to do. Move me to fucking abbostford for all I care. RUIN what i've worked for. Once it's done, you'll be breaking my heart like no other. You'll be looking at me like you've never seen before. You'll look at me as if i'm dead. You'll soon take the life out of me. I've never wanted to say this, but i'll hate you guys SO much. You've done enough to just let me die in your arms with straight sadness. I HATE YOU.

What a day.

So, today was quite interesting. It had some ups and downs, but it was alright. The weather wasn't what I expected, which was gay! First thing I thought about when I woke up, "fuck, puffy eyes!" this is what you get for crying the night before. Everything was just a chill day, nothing too out of the blue, just nothing.

Whatever.

SERIOUSLY.. FUCK YOU, you don't like how things are fucking say it to my face. I thought you were my best friend.. =/ fuck it.

Bleh

So.. I haven't been writing anything anywhere in a long while. It's quite weird to start writing again and to think I was happy for sure. I guess it's just that time again.. the "emotional" time as Jon and Eric would call it. Man, got myself too down.. I can't even write..