Think it over.

I don't know what to do, I'm kind of lost. My thoughts are quite messy. I feel as if I've put guilt on myself. Should I go for it? OR Should I back down? I can't choose because I want both. I didn't think things were going to be like this. Honestly, It's so hard to choose. One choice makes me SO happy. Well, starting to make me happy and the second choice.. It just leaves me down. Which do I choose? To be happy, and feel guilty or to be sad, and not feel guilty? Help me bf..