So.. what do I say?

I'm so fucking out of words right now. Sorry for my bad language, but fuck. I'm so.. I don't even know how to explain how I feel right now. It's unbelievable.. What do I say? Do I say i'm mad? Do I say i'm disappointed? Do I say i'm frustrated? Do I say i'm hurt? Do I say i'm happy for you? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO FUCKING SAY! It's the first time I was put down by you, but it's ok. I understand. I'm happy with your decision, it is your life. I can't do anything, but standby and watch. Yeah, it hurt a bit to hear what was going on. But I can handle it. I just never thought it'd come by so soon. It was so out of the blue, so.. random. But thats not the REASON why i'm writing this.. HOW COULD YOU FORGET WHEN THE LAST TIME WE TALKED. hfabkasjbfsabfkadufgafgabfaklbfh BYE.

I got COLORS!

DREAM DANCE STUDIO!! HOLLAA!! :)

take a poo poo

Today today today.. was boring. Oh! I was limping the whole day.. I can't seem to put all my weight on my ankle, therefore I was crippled.. It was lame. I hope I can dance tomorrow, or i'll be quite upset. So, I went to school and I see that Raina is also crippled, but not like me.. She effed over her finger, it's blue purple and green. It was nasty. Well, anyways.. nothing really special. Uhm, Insadet got me starbucks =$ Tenks m'dear. Made my day. <3 K, thats all for now. BYE!

- meals

crippled meals.

So today was quite interesting.. I had a fun game of basketball.. WELL, it had a ball in it.. some rules like basketball, BUT didn't feel like it. I felt like I was in a war.. A girl on girl war. EFF man. Never seen so many girls get SO aggressive with a game. I kinda got scared.. and I'm not lying. This is how it went down.. *hence the title of this blog..* We were playing bball.. and all the girls were going crazy, some were down on the ground grabbing the bball.. some girls got scratched or cuts.. and me.. yeah I was just a bystander.. who ran back and forth, but NEVER said.. "PASS IT TO ME!" because I was scared to. Anyways, moving on.. I was near the girl who had the ball.. and everyone was surrounding her like CRAZY.. and I wanted to back out of the whole mob.. So I slowly ran backwards.. and tripped over someone's foot.. and ROLLED onto my ankle. Theres me.. down on the ground, I got up and I was fine. THEN I see across the room.. two girls fighting for the basketball.. BOTH on the ground.. grabbing the ball.. and wouldnt let go.. teacher blows the whistle a few times and tells them to let go, but they didn't.. And you're probably thinking.. "wtf? so what happened?" ... THEY just got down on the ground dragging each other everywhere on the floor, but still wouldn't let go of the ball.. it as funny to be exact. You just had to be there. Well, anyways.. I thought I was fine from the fall so.. I went to dance and once I got to dance.. I felt a bad pain in my ankle.. Yep, it was from the roll.. This is a disaster right? Yes it was! I couldn't dance!! The classes I had that day.. I couldn't do them! I was so sad.. I WAS CRIPPLED THE WHOLE TIME! I iced it and crap, But what upset me the most was I couldn't take Kolanie's class.. UGGGH! Well, that was my day. My ankle feels somewhat better... Oh and I saw my best friend today... JAYBEE. I missed her soo much. It was great to see her for a bit.. . AND I miss Hayden. K bye!

P.S. Texting Insadet is the best. <3

- meals on hot wheels or happy meals... whatever floats your boat.. let your boat sink.. NOW

Just an everyday thing.

Not what I expected.. Not what I intended, but dam.. It was like a shot in the heart. Days are starting to get worst and worst, wheres the better in it? I'm still in search of it. I feel like the days aren't getting much better than what they are now. I need to move... AGAIN. I miss my happy self.. I miss how happy I was with him. Asking myself.. "what am I really looking for?" yet I can never answer that question without feeling confused. All I really can do now is.. just sit back and relax. Let life take it's roll.. Not my turn yet.

I miss you.. like mad..

I miss you a lot.. I can't even say..


"nothing feels right when I'm not with you"